Please please don't think you're being selfish- with this rotten disease, we're all entitled to feel down at times! I've lost count of the number of times I just sit and cry for ages wwondering 'why me'? Just 3 years ago, I turned 50, feeling well and looking forward to many good years ahead-there was so much I wanted to do ,then bang- RA hit. I do still work but wonder how long I can keep it up. I'm on Easter break at the moment and feel much better.
Sorry I can't offer any advice on work- I'm sure someone will pick up on this thread and be able to help.

Meanwhile- sending you hugs

Maria x

Sending you lots of hugs Mari.

This dreadful RA can so easily get us feeling down.

Hope you feel a bit brighter today and no, you are not being selfish.

Love, Doreen xx

Lots of hugs to my friends. Thank you all for your messages it really means a lot. Its just I seem to pingpong from one worry to the next. I feel a bit brighter today I know I need to look at the bigger picture and not concentrate on the bad stuff or only expect the worst.

I went out with a friend I use to work with on Bank holiday and I use to be at her pace but I hid it and kept up. So what could have been a nice day was tiring and sore and had it been just me or my hubby it would have been a lot easier though I enjoyed her company. It wasnt her fault but I hate having to say anything so although I want to work I dont think psychologically I could handle facing my limitations What makes it harder is that the medical people I come in to contact with consider me to be pretty healthy and tell me to either accept my illness or get a job, or both. Its pretty maddening.

I know I am lucky my medication is working but its not completely gone and still get problems, last night I woke up as the top of my middle finger went dead as if there was a string around the top joint and I could feel my jaw wasnt too happy and today I had difficulty trying to get my mouth around a sandwich. I feel like I am coming down with a cold but as usual nothing has surfaced. But these things come and go and by the time I go for my consultation lots of other little things will have happened and theres other stuff to discuss.

However on a brighter note there was a night of back to back Ricky Gervais's extras and I laughed or guffawed all the way through so at least I havent lost my sense of humour... He did an excellent one on disability with a girl who had celebral palsy and she was excellent a lovely smile and dimple and it really brought a taboo topic to the forefront.

Mari xx

Dear Mari,
I just read your post and wanted to wish you all the best for your medical.
This R.A is a nasty disease and plays with our emotions.
It is very hard for me, even now, to look around my home and realize that
my standards cannot be as high as they used to be.
But the hardest thing for me is asking for help.
Last week my grown-up daughter cleaned my cooker for me - and I just cannot
express the happiness I now feel every time I look at it!
I was glad to read that you had a good day out with your friend - but I can
totally empathize with your feeling out-paced.
It is hard for other people to understand that our pace is slower than theirs!
Only with my partner do I feel comfortable being out and about because he
has been around since I first got R.A nearly 16 years ago and has adapted
to my pace and understands when I need to have a rest by sitting down while we are out.
This does make things "comfortable" for me and it makes me feel safer and less
stressed.
Best wishes,
Fiona